A Conduit of Mixed Food For Thought..with some Comedy
The most distinctive aspect of soccer is that use of the hands is prohibited. But did you know players aren’t allowed to use their teeth either?
This minor detail of the rule book seems to have slipped the mind of Uruguay forward Luis Suarez, who currently stands accused of biting an opponent for the third time in his career during the country’s recent match against Italy at the World Cup. For his part, Suarez doesn’t seem to get what all the fuss is about, brushing off the incident with the declaration that “these things happen on the pitch.”
But it’s not just the 27-year-old striker who isn’t taking the incident seriously, as novelty goods manufacturers in China have apparently already started producing bottle openers that will help you crack open a cold one using Suarez’s now infamous teeth.
Consumers’ tastes can change in the blink of an eye, so the maker of the handy bottle-opening key chain knew it had to act fast if it wanted to commemorate Suarez’s on-field taste test of Italia defenseman Giorgio Chiellini’s shoulder. Thanks to the manufacturer’s startlingly speedy response, the Suarez bottle openers have seemingly already hit the market, just days after the alleged biting incident.
Taobao, one of China’s largest internet shopping sites, has numerous listings for the bottle opener. The store images look a little suspect – Suarez’s face is clearly a photoshopped image stuck on top of what can only presume is an existing keychain product – but we suppose you’ve got to move fast to make money out of scandals like these.